Friday, October 24, 2008
Big Ben and Conversation
Sitting on the porch of Raspberry’s, drinking my coffee, listening to fine music and watching Big Ben work the crowd. Ben could have been the quintessential politician, as everyone, without exception, showed an immediate interest in and acceptance of Ben. Ben got what he wanted from everyone there and they did it with a smile. Everyone broke into a grin at his approach and felt especially lucky that he had singled them out for his attention. Whatever it was about Ben people delighted in giving him what he wanted and all that he wanted. Ben could have been a great con man or easily run for mayor. All Ben wanted was a little affection, a scratch behind the ears or on the rump, a pat, a rub a little bit of touch and recognition. Not all that different from what we all want, yet no one begrudged Ben his wants despite his imposing size, 90+ pounds of German Shepherd.
Why is it so easy for us to show affection and pay attention, delighted all the while, to another species when if it had been our own species wanting the same thing our reaction would have been quite different? Why is it we can show such unreserved affection for an animal ignoring the needs of our fellow humans? For on that very porch while Ben was working the crowd there where two or three people who would have felt lucky if they got a tenth of the attention we showed so easily to Ben.
Perhaps, it is that we knew all Ben wanted was a little affection; that he had no hidden agenda, that there was no possibility that he was conning us or setting us up. We knew that when our encounter with Ben was over, it really would be over. There would be no repercussions, no expectations, and no way we could be taken advantage of.
The joy people felt and showed giving Ben his due demonstrated quite clearly that we Humans have an excess of affection to give. Affection we give freely to "lesser " species. It is a sad thing that we have somehow learned that giving affection and warmth freely is dangerous when done with our own species. We often are afraid to even meet new people, to even openly acknowledge a strangers presence. Is it because we have so often been taken advantage of by our fellow humans or is it because we fear we might be rebuffed if we show friendliness towards others? Do we think others might regard us as strange or "not quite right" if we showed open interest in them or any sign that we might just like to know more about them?
It is strange but the easiest way to meet people is by bringing a dog to a cafe, for we can all express interest in the dog and thus meet the owners. Why the subterfuge? Are dog owners less likely to take advantage of our friendliness? Are they less likely to turn out to be undesirables? Does the simple fact of ownership of a dog make a person more trustworthy? I think not.
I think it is just our innate shyness, our reluctance to take a risk that holds us back. After all what are we doing at a sidewalk coffee shop if not to meet people? We can make coffee at home, why go out for it if not to meet people? Perhaps we should take a chance and actually start up a conversation with others that are there; after all if we are rebuffed if won't be the first time and certainly not the last.
As for myself I go to Raspberry’s to watch people and to meet people because people fascinate me, always have and always will. Everybody's got a story worth hearing, usually, more than one. Attention should be paid to everyone, not just because they deserve it but by not doing so we rob ourselves from all the growth the other might spark in us. We miss out on their uniqueness and by doing so we lessen our own lives.
So if you see me sitting anywhere, feel free to come up and start a conversation. I'm real easy to recognize, I'm the one with the oxygen tank.
Why is it so easy for us to show affection and pay attention, delighted all the while, to another species when if it had been our own species wanting the same thing our reaction would have been quite different? Why is it we can show such unreserved affection for an animal ignoring the needs of our fellow humans? For on that very porch while Ben was working the crowd there where two or three people who would have felt lucky if they got a tenth of the attention we showed so easily to Ben.
Perhaps, it is that we knew all Ben wanted was a little affection; that he had no hidden agenda, that there was no possibility that he was conning us or setting us up. We knew that when our encounter with Ben was over, it really would be over. There would be no repercussions, no expectations, and no way we could be taken advantage of.
The joy people felt and showed giving Ben his due demonstrated quite clearly that we Humans have an excess of affection to give. Affection we give freely to "lesser " species. It is a sad thing that we have somehow learned that giving affection and warmth freely is dangerous when done with our own species. We often are afraid to even meet new people, to even openly acknowledge a strangers presence. Is it because we have so often been taken advantage of by our fellow humans or is it because we fear we might be rebuffed if we show friendliness towards others? Do we think others might regard us as strange or "not quite right" if we showed open interest in them or any sign that we might just like to know more about them?
It is strange but the easiest way to meet people is by bringing a dog to a cafe, for we can all express interest in the dog and thus meet the owners. Why the subterfuge? Are dog owners less likely to take advantage of our friendliness? Are they less likely to turn out to be undesirables? Does the simple fact of ownership of a dog make a person more trustworthy? I think not.
I think it is just our innate shyness, our reluctance to take a risk that holds us back. After all what are we doing at a sidewalk coffee shop if not to meet people? We can make coffee at home, why go out for it if not to meet people? Perhaps we should take a chance and actually start up a conversation with others that are there; after all if we are rebuffed if won't be the first time and certainly not the last.
As for myself I go to Raspberry’s to watch people and to meet people because people fascinate me, always have and always will. Everybody's got a story worth hearing, usually, more than one. Attention should be paid to everyone, not just because they deserve it but by not doing so we rob ourselves from all the growth the other might spark in us. We miss out on their uniqueness and by doing so we lessen our own lives.
So if you see me sitting anywhere, feel free to come up and start a conversation. I'm real easy to recognize, I'm the one with the oxygen tank.
