Monday, January 16, 2006
Unsung Heroes - Lorraine 16
Lorraine 16
By: Ian Lowden, M. Sc., B.A
Loraine 16 is the person who originally contacted me about the wonderful work being done by Gabriola resident, Marianne Auger. The article on Marianne has been picked up by a newsletter for adoptees and will probably come out in their next Quarterly. Since my initial contact from Lorraine two months ago I have learned a great deal about the difficulties people face finding their birth family. Apparently, B.C. is one of the provinces that helps people do this with Ontario at the other end of the spectrum. Apparently the Ontario Privacy Commissioner wants new legislation that would make it virtually impossible for adoptees to ever locate their biological parents, despite their being some 70 thousand adoptees registered with the Post Adoption Registry in Ontario trying to help them locate their birth families.
The story would not be complete without hearing the adoptees side so the following is Lorraine’s own words in response to my queries of why she wanted to find heir birth family and what the results have been.
“I grew up in a happy home, my mother was a housewife and her husband owned his own fine furniture refinishing business. They owned their own business, and life was good. They tried to have a child but could not, and decided to adopt a child. I was that child. I was raised in a home full of love, with parents who encouraged me to become involved in music, sports and schoolwork. I remained an only child. When I was seven years old my parents told me that I was adopted, and gave me what little information they knew of my birth parents. I was happy to store this information for later use, and I was not bothered by the fact that I was adopted. I was very close to my adoptive mother, and still remain so, but I have always noted that we are very different people, we have a strong love between us, but I have always noticed that I live my life very differently from my mother.
“What made me look for my birth/mother.......curiousity most of all, I never felt like I had anything in common with my adoptive family, physical appearance, personality, traits......
I had obtained my birth file from Vital Stats but it didn't not contain any identifying info, so I was at a dead end. I joined a website called Canadopt, and started reading the e-mails from everyone else in the adoption community. One day someone suggested obtaining a "Registration of a Live Birth", which contains full names. Marianne is also a member on this site, and once I obtained my and my birth/mother's real names, I posted them on the site. Marianne took it upon herself to search this name, and found my b/mother's cousin in Kamloops. A couple of phone calls later I was put in touch with my b/uncle, brother to my mother, who did not know she had had a child. He then gave me her phone number and arranged a time for us to talk. When she and I first spoke on the phone, our voices and laughter was exactly the same, which is something because we are both known for our loud laugh.
The only thing I would warn other people is not to get their expectations up, and not to blame people for any decisions made in the past. I did not expect anything from my b/mother, I only wanted to meet her and to find out as much about the family as I could.
This experience HAS changed me. I now know that I am not strange, that there are other people on this earth who are just like me. Not perfect, but sharing the same traits, physical, hobbies, and medical conditions. I feel much more settled now, as this was a huge piece of my puzzle that I never could finish before.”
“ I don't have any concerns re privacy, so go ahead and call me by my full names.”
“ Janine Marie Theresa Giacomuci
Renamed Lorraine Leona Sym By Adoptive Parents”
Since writing this Lorraine has spent vacation time in Kamloops meeting two more of her four siblings and having a wonderful time now that she has both families. I hope this answers those critics that think that birth families should be kept from ever meeting. Aside from the joy Lorraine had she also got access to the medical histories of her birth family, knowing what genetic predispositions she has may someday help her immensely. Not all reunions have been as positive as Lorraine’s but, with more than 150,000 adoptees in Canada that are trying to find their birth parents, the statistics speak for themselves.
By: Ian Lowden, M. Sc., B.A
Loraine 16 is the person who originally contacted me about the wonderful work being done by Gabriola resident, Marianne Auger. The article on Marianne has been picked up by a newsletter for adoptees and will probably come out in their next Quarterly. Since my initial contact from Lorraine two months ago I have learned a great deal about the difficulties people face finding their birth family. Apparently, B.C. is one of the provinces that helps people do this with Ontario at the other end of the spectrum. Apparently the Ontario Privacy Commissioner wants new legislation that would make it virtually impossible for adoptees to ever locate their biological parents, despite their being some 70 thousand adoptees registered with the Post Adoption Registry in Ontario trying to help them locate their birth families.
The story would not be complete without hearing the adoptees side so the following is Lorraine’s own words in response to my queries of why she wanted to find heir birth family and what the results have been.
“I grew up in a happy home, my mother was a housewife and her husband owned his own fine furniture refinishing business. They owned their own business, and life was good. They tried to have a child but could not, and decided to adopt a child. I was that child. I was raised in a home full of love, with parents who encouraged me to become involved in music, sports and schoolwork. I remained an only child. When I was seven years old my parents told me that I was adopted, and gave me what little information they knew of my birth parents. I was happy to store this information for later use, and I was not bothered by the fact that I was adopted. I was very close to my adoptive mother, and still remain so, but I have always noted that we are very different people, we have a strong love between us, but I have always noticed that I live my life very differently from my mother.
“What made me look for my birth/mother.......curiousity most of all, I never felt like I had anything in common with my adoptive family, physical appearance, personality, traits......
I had obtained my birth file from Vital Stats but it didn't not contain any identifying info, so I was at a dead end. I joined a website called Canadopt, and started reading the e-mails from everyone else in the adoption community. One day someone suggested obtaining a "Registration of a Live Birth", which contains full names. Marianne is also a member on this site, and once I obtained my and my birth/mother's real names, I posted them on the site. Marianne took it upon herself to search this name, and found my b/mother's cousin in Kamloops. A couple of phone calls later I was put in touch with my b/uncle, brother to my mother, who did not know she had had a child. He then gave me her phone number and arranged a time for us to talk. When she and I first spoke on the phone, our voices and laughter was exactly the same, which is something because we are both known for our loud laugh.
The only thing I would warn other people is not to get their expectations up, and not to blame people for any decisions made in the past. I did not expect anything from my b/mother, I only wanted to meet her and to find out as much about the family as I could.
This experience HAS changed me. I now know that I am not strange, that there are other people on this earth who are just like me. Not perfect, but sharing the same traits, physical, hobbies, and medical conditions. I feel much more settled now, as this was a huge piece of my puzzle that I never could finish before.”
“ I don't have any concerns re privacy, so go ahead and call me by my full names.”
“ Janine Marie Theresa Giacomuci
Renamed Lorraine Leona Sym By Adoptive Parents”
Since writing this Lorraine has spent vacation time in Kamloops meeting two more of her four siblings and having a wonderful time now that she has both families. I hope this answers those critics that think that birth families should be kept from ever meeting. Aside from the joy Lorraine had she also got access to the medical histories of her birth family, knowing what genetic predispositions she has may someday help her immensely. Not all reunions have been as positive as Lorraine’s but, with more than 150,000 adoptees in Canada that are trying to find their birth parents, the statistics speak for themselves.
