Monday, January 16, 2006
Do We Change Much After 50?
Do We Change Much After 50?
By Ian Lowden, M.Sc., B.A.
Common sense would seem to dictate that the answer would be yes. By the time we are fifty plus we have had more than half our lifetimes to figure out others and ourselves. We have a wealth of experience about what behaviours are successful and which ones aren’t. We have had lots of time for introspection and have relieved lots and lots of feedback about ourselves. We have (hopefully) gained wisdom and learned much about our own patterns of behaviour and also have learned much about the patterns of others. We have learned (with varying degrees of accuracy) how to predict what other people are likely to do in any given situation. We are well passed the naivety of youth and have learned how to exist with, and maybe even profit from our social environment.
We have read books, raised children, made and lost friends, discussed life and the meaning of it with many people. We have had significant interaction with well over a thousand people, and learned how to get along in a wide variety of situations. We have had good bosses and bad, been a good boss and a bad one, changed occupations, quit jobs, been fired from jobs, and watched as whole occupations disappeared. We have made friends and lost friends, and have been intimately involved in the lives of our friends. We have moved into new communities, and left other communities. We have watched untold hours of movies, television, and 24-hour news keeping us informed of whatever tragedies were in vogue with the media. We have observed much, missed much, and learned much.
We have set goals, sometimes met or exceeded our goals, and set new goals. Our taste in music has changed, as has our taste in all the arts. We have sampled a wide variety of lifestyles, changed our mind, changed our beliefs, and changed our dwellings and the vehicles we drive. Many of us have even changed our mates. Our views on religion, politics, ethics, and personal values have all changed. We have lived in different economic and social conditions. We have watched and/or been part of our very society changing. We have lived through the revolutions of technology and social mores in our society, and watched the world change and cultures become more homogenized. We have changed our views on what being successful means and changed the direction of our lives.
We have lived through all sorts of changes and come to realize that nothing remains static, nothing remains the same no matter how hard we try. We have come to expect, and sometimes even embrace, change. We have learned that the one thing we can count on is nothing remains the same, that the only surety is change itself.
Given all our experience of change why is it that we struggle against it? Why do we hold tenaciously to outmoded ideas and beliefs? Why do we struggle so hard to resist change and hold on tightly to some of our ideas? Is it because our old values and ideas are somehow morally superior or do we just need something to believe in that doesn’t change? I think the answer to that last question is both. Some values are worth hanging onto no matter how much the world around us changes. Sometimes we cling to places things, ideas and even people because we fear what change will bring. Learning which things we hold onto because they are worth holding onto and which things we hold onto out of fear is part of adapting to a world that never stops changing.
Understanding that “times of change bring increased risks but also bring increased opportunities for growth” is key to how we approach the rest of our lives. If we let change overwhelm us to the point where we don’t try to keep even those values that are worthwhile, this leads us down the path of apathy and despair. Trying to resist all change leaves us overwhelmed and on the path to desperation. Managing change so that we keep what is important and let what needs to change do so is the path to wisdom and generativity.
By Ian Lowden, M.Sc., B.A.
Common sense would seem to dictate that the answer would be yes. By the time we are fifty plus we have had more than half our lifetimes to figure out others and ourselves. We have a wealth of experience about what behaviours are successful and which ones aren’t. We have had lots of time for introspection and have relieved lots and lots of feedback about ourselves. We have (hopefully) gained wisdom and learned much about our own patterns of behaviour and also have learned much about the patterns of others. We have learned (with varying degrees of accuracy) how to predict what other people are likely to do in any given situation. We are well passed the naivety of youth and have learned how to exist with, and maybe even profit from our social environment.
We have read books, raised children, made and lost friends, discussed life and the meaning of it with many people. We have had significant interaction with well over a thousand people, and learned how to get along in a wide variety of situations. We have had good bosses and bad, been a good boss and a bad one, changed occupations, quit jobs, been fired from jobs, and watched as whole occupations disappeared. We have made friends and lost friends, and have been intimately involved in the lives of our friends. We have moved into new communities, and left other communities. We have watched untold hours of movies, television, and 24-hour news keeping us informed of whatever tragedies were in vogue with the media. We have observed much, missed much, and learned much.
We have set goals, sometimes met or exceeded our goals, and set new goals. Our taste in music has changed, as has our taste in all the arts. We have sampled a wide variety of lifestyles, changed our mind, changed our beliefs, and changed our dwellings and the vehicles we drive. Many of us have even changed our mates. Our views on religion, politics, ethics, and personal values have all changed. We have lived in different economic and social conditions. We have watched and/or been part of our very society changing. We have lived through the revolutions of technology and social mores in our society, and watched the world change and cultures become more homogenized. We have changed our views on what being successful means and changed the direction of our lives.
We have lived through all sorts of changes and come to realize that nothing remains static, nothing remains the same no matter how hard we try. We have come to expect, and sometimes even embrace, change. We have learned that the one thing we can count on is nothing remains the same, that the only surety is change itself.
Given all our experience of change why is it that we struggle against it? Why do we hold tenaciously to outmoded ideas and beliefs? Why do we struggle so hard to resist change and hold on tightly to some of our ideas? Is it because our old values and ideas are somehow morally superior or do we just need something to believe in that doesn’t change? I think the answer to that last question is both. Some values are worth hanging onto no matter how much the world around us changes. Sometimes we cling to places things, ideas and even people because we fear what change will bring. Learning which things we hold onto because they are worth holding onto and which things we hold onto out of fear is part of adapting to a world that never stops changing.
Understanding that “times of change bring increased risks but also bring increased opportunities for growth” is key to how we approach the rest of our lives. If we let change overwhelm us to the point where we don’t try to keep even those values that are worthwhile, this leads us down the path of apathy and despair. Trying to resist all change leaves us overwhelmed and on the path to desperation. Managing change so that we keep what is important and let what needs to change do so is the path to wisdom and generativity.
